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My heart has been heavy for many of my friends lately. I have a friend who lost her brother, three friends who lost their husbands and my sister friend, cousin, who lost her son and a friend who lost her daughter. I have tried to stay in touch with my friends and to be a support to them. While I don’t have any magic words to take away their pain, I have listened as they have talked about their loved ones. I wish I did have the exact words to take away the awful pain they are enduring.
There are so many things NOT to say when someone is grieving. Talking with my friends I have heard the things some people say to them that would curl your hair. For instance, “God wanted them more than you did”, “At least you had them for a while”, “You surely didn’t want to keep them in their condition”, “Dwell on the good memories”, (the good memories are what makes one long for their love ones) and "I know what grief is, I just lost my dog". I know that people feel they must say something and many times they say things that just come out before they know it, but for the love of my friends and others going through grief maybe it’s just better to say nothing. A big hug, a sweet card or even “my prayers are with you” is the best thing one can do. Honestly, nothing we can say is going to make the grieving feel better. Words are so empty at times.
My mother lost her son, my brother nine years ago and she has said, “Even though I lost my son I don’t know how someone else feels when they lose their child, I just know how I feel”. Our only comfort can be found in God’s love and our steadfast faith in Him and sometimes He feels far, far away, yet He is there all the time.
For the love of my friends I am devastated for them. You can believe they are in my prayers constantly!