Sincerely Sandy

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

In the past few months two of my dearest friends have lost their husband’s to cancer. They are broken hearted and at this time they can’t get any relief from the horrible pain.

I have talked with my one friend almost every night since her husband passed away. We have been friends since the first grade and I am so saddened by her loss. We have talked about everything under the sun and yet we can’t find a way to mend her broken heart.

Back in the day I had a broken heart. I thought I would never, ever get over the hurting in my chest and I thought the video of the ugliness of his leaving would play forever in my mind. It did hurt for a very long time. I am not talking about days or months I am talking about years and years. I felt half of whole, I felt numb, I felt like I would have to suffer the rest of my life…I almost did.

Yet there came a time when the pain lessened, I could go an hour, then five hours and then 24 hours without the video turning on in my head and the pressure in my chest seemed to have vanished. What do I attribute the healing of my broken heart to? It sure wasn’t time, for time seemed to stand still, it wasn’t my faith, because my faith grew weak at times, it wasn’t making a new life for myself because I yearned for my old life.

What healed my broken heart? Learning to be alone, learning to discover God for myself and to accept that there wasn’t one thing I could do about my situation except get better or bitter. Boy, oh, boy I wanted to be bitter but somehow that wasn’t the answer. I didn’t consciously try to get better but by leaning on God with my own faith, learning to be content in whatever situation I was in and taking tiny baby steps my broken heart was mended.

How do I tell my friends that someday they won’t hurt as badly as they do now…I don’t. I tell them that they are going to hurt for awhile; I tell them that they should embrace their grief and go through it. There is no fast forward button to push when one is grieving. I don’t have the answers, all I can do is love them, listen to them and pray that God will give them the strength to go through the going through stage until they can breathe again without the daggers of pain stabbing them every few seconds.

“God, I pray for my sisters as they learn to live again. I pray that you will give them strength, wisdom and that longed for peace. They are good women, they loved their husbands and they weren’t ready to give them up, yet they had no choice. You are the almighty, you know the plan, these dear ladies need you to wrap your arms around them, let them cry on your shoulder and they should let you dry their tears. We don’t understand your ways but we live by our faith and try not to question you too much. I am asking in Jesus’ name for you to comfort my dear friends. Amen”

Sincerely,
Sandy