Sincerely Sandy

Parenting Your Parents

Almost everyone I know has become the care giver for their parents. Some friends are bringing their parent’s into their homes, other have put them in assisted living and some are trying to allow their parent’s to live at home as long as possible. While everyone respects their parent’s and they want to do what is right and good for them it is a tough job.

For years our parent’s were the parent’s
and they instilled in us to respect them and their wishes. While we usually didn’t like all their restrictions and rules we abided because they were the PARENT’S. Now the roles are slightly reversed and some of the parents can’t make good decisions and they depend on their children to take care of the doctor appointments, the finances and yet they are offended when the children do take over.

I am very fortunate because my parents are self sufficient and don’t need my help, in fact, they are almost to the point of being offended if I ask if they need anything. So basically all I can do is listen to my friends and try to give them my support.

I work in the health care field and I guess you can say elder care is my specialty. The things I have learned are that the elderly are scared, angry and sometimes sick. They get frustrated because they can’t dress themselves, they can’t drive anymore, they can’t hear, they can’t see and the list goes on and on. The biggest lesson I have learned is to try to leave them with their dignity, their pride and with a sense that they are not a burden to their children and care givers.

While an elderly person can’t do all the things they did years ago they are still a part of this life and they want to help make some decisions of their well being.

They want a choice in what they eat, how they dress and when they want to shower or not to shower. They aren’t little children even though they sometimes act like a child.
Parenting your parents is a tough situation to be in. It’s hard on everyone involved and things usually get worse as the parent ages. I have deep sympathy for the adult children. God instructed us to honor our Mother and Father and it is hard at times to honor an old cranky person, believe me I know. Think back to the years when you were the child and you balked when your mother wanted you to wear the hem on your skirt an inch below the knee. I sure didn’t take too kindly to that and when daddy wouldn’t let me use the car I was past being indignant! The roles are reversed as the parent ages and it isn’t an easy job. Continue to pray for strength, patience and wisdom on how to care for your parents and please don’t threaten to ground them. We all know that grounding never worked.

Sincerely,
Sandy
flowers through window